She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
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He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
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He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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