Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night

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  (541): I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night http://tfl.nu/6f3k
  Replies (6) Good night (1209) Bad night (3425) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?

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  (513): The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU? http://tfl.nu/gpmz
  Replies (8) Good night (436) Bad night (3186) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.

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  (619): Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular. http://tfl.nu/9sri
  Replies (36) Good night (3751) Bad night (449) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.

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  (619): Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it. http://tfl.nu/cnbd
  Replies (31) Good night (801) Bad night (7461) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  will power is for people who don't want to get laid

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  (773): will power is for people who don't want to get laid http://tfl.nu/uala
  Replies (22) Good night (3913) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...

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  (402): who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar... http://tfl.nu/yz5c
  Replies (51) Good night (1015) Bad night (5395) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?

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  (516): How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear? http://tfl.nu/ycsa
  Replies (22) Good night (1280) Bad night (3817) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.

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  (315): found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital. http://tfl.nu/yphr
  Replies (8) Good night (3618) Bad night (1185) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me

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  (651): I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me http://tfl.nu/y5sm
  Replies (7) Good night (1169) Bad night (1465) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can

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  (919): I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer (919): Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can http://tfl.nu/61hu
  Replies (4) Good night (1488) Bad night (881)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere

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  (248): I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere http://tfl.nu/d1lq
  Replies (7) Good night (448) Bad night (1111) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself

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  (310): Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself http://tfl.nu/zndp
  Replies (5) Good night (1178) Bad night (431) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.

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  (812): I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle. http://tfl.nu/j0rx
  Replies (1) Good night (615) Bad night (185) Order T-Shirt
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  (660): View more from Missouri

  I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..

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  (660): I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won.. http://tfl.nu/18ev
  Replies (4) Good night (807) Bad night (225)
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  (347): View more from New York

  THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.

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  (347): THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI. http://tfl.nu/yt9w
  Replies (4) Good night (418) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt

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