i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
she looked like the before picture.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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