Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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