FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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