college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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