U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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