also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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