It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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