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never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
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