we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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