your room smells of hookers.
And success
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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