By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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