Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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