My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
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I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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