Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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