i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize