How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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