Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize