I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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