I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize