Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
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It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
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