aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will be naked everywhere
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize