You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize