the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize