I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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