Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize