So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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