i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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