so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Don't tell me you're on acid again
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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