we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize