when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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