First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
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Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
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Also, beer. Big fan.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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