Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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