Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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