im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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