she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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