All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
why is half of my head shaved?
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