it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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