Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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