Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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