I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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