I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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