I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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