just tell him i said nine months
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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