He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
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I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
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she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
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