I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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