Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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