I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize