Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
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I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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