so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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